Choosing the right role model can improve your life in a vast number of ways.
In fact, this is an incredibly potent tool for improving the way you come across to others.
The problem? Many of us have either no role models at all or the wrong role models.
In either case, we’re comparing ourselves to the wrong people. Social comparison theory, from psychology, tells us that we’re always comparing ourselves to someone. In fact, this is how many of us assess our own happiness and our own success.
That is to say, we don’t judge what we have on its own merits but rather judge it by comparing it to what others have. You feel good because you have a widescreen TV, but then you feel bad because you realize the neighbor has an even bigger one!
If we weren’t comparing ourselves to others all the time, we’d be more content.
The problem is, most of us are comparing ourselves to the heavily doctored and carefully selected images put out on social media and to celebrities who are practically entirely fabrications. No wonder our self-esteem is low!
So the scenario might well be that your sense of self-worth comes from comparing yourself to a celebrity who is heavily airbrushed and a billionaire.
The right role model
Carefully choosing a role model can change this. It can give us realistic aims while providing motivation and the right goals to improve ourselves.
The right role model will be someone who is perhaps more successful than we are in terms of their career or the way they present themselves. But at the same time, they are also similar to us and what they represent is just within our reach.
By being this way, we pursue someone who provides us with a little incentive and motivation, as well as confidence and inspiration regarding what we can become.
In short, you’re looking for someone who is like you but just a little ahead.
Don’t follow false idols. Remember that even the people you respect greatly are only human and have their faults too. Remember that behind the Instagram account is a real person who has bad days too.
How the Right Role Model Can Enhance Your Confidence
Choosing the right role model can improve your life in a vast number of ways.
In fact, this is an incredibly potent tool for improving the way you come across to others.
The problem? Many of us have either no role models at all or the wrong role models.
In either case, we’re comparing ourselves to the wrong people. Social comparison theory, from psychology, tells us that we’re always comparing ourselves to someone. In fact, this is how many of us assess our own happiness and our own success.
That is to say, we don’t judge what we have on its own merits but rather judge it by comparing it to what others have. You feel good because you have a widescreen TV, but then you feel bad because you realize the neighbor has an even bigger one!
If we weren’t comparing ourselves to others all the time, we’d be more content.
The problem is, most of us are comparing ourselves to the heavily doctored and carefully selected images put out on social media and to celebrities who are practically entirely fabrications. No wonder our self-esteem is low!
So the scenario might well be that your sense of self-worth comes from comparing yourself to a celebrity who is heavily airbrushed and a billionaire.
The right role model
Carefully choosing a role model can change this. It can give us realistic aims while providing motivation and the right goals to improve ourselves.
The right role model will be someone who is perhaps more successful than we are in terms of their career or the way they present themselves. But at the same time, they are also similar to us and what they represent is just within our reach.
By being this way, we pursue someone who provides us with a little incentive and motivation, as well as confidence and inspiration regarding what we can become.
In short, you’re looking for someone who is like you but just a little ahead.
Don’t follow false idols. Remember that even the people you respect greatly are only human and have their faults too. Remember that behind the Instagram account is a real person who has bad days too.
Maurice Zondag
Maurice is the founder of Master Your Personality and originator of the concept of "The 6 Sources of Happiness" and the The Self-Fulfilling Life Performance Loop. He is a certified health and life success coach and he helps people to have a healthier life, more confidence and create the mindset that leads to owning your desired life and get what you want in life.