5 Mistakes Coaches Make

​If you want to help, you want to help. You're not in this business to become ​the next Warren Buffet. I am a true believer that one who shall give, shall also receive. That is why I post so many video's for free. A lot of information is already out there on the internet, why not let me find it for you, and be this central place of information for you, right? If a coach ​just wants to share when he receives (email and name for example), and that's all he does, ​you could wonder if his intentions are really to help you, or just to make money off you. (I am not against asking money for his or her services, that's what I do too, I need to make a living out of it - there is a difference though between giving ​without ​asking anything in return, and giving to get something out of it.)

​I believe in authenticity. Coaching is a profession, that needs skills you need to learn. But besides that, ​having been where you're clients are now, having the alike experience, ​gives you the opportunity to truly understand them. So if you don't hear from them they've been where you are, ​how can they ever help you going through the struggles you have. It becomes a clinical environment, not a coaching environment. Besides this, a coach that has been where you are now, can be your mentor. And we all need mentors in our lives. People that have been where we are and achieved something we want - in my case, controle and impact of your happiness.

​A lot of coaches I've met, are full of themselves. They love to hear themselves talk. Have you ever experienced this scenario, where you were in a conversation with someone, and every time you tell something about yourself, he or she immediately goes:  "Oh yes! I had that too! I was like..." and now the conversation is about him or her. Avoid that. A coach should always ​find the answer within you, and should use his or her experience to level to your answer, by asking the right questions, guide you in a direction, and pushes your buttons.

​He or she is a very good listener. And keeps hitting the questions back with the very annoying response: "And if you would have the solution, what would it be?" -type of questions (What do YOU think? Is also a red flag). They've learned the textbooks, but don't get it in real life, with real people. They are not being authentic. ​Helping people is about making a genuine connection, a connection from the heart, not the mind.

​Look, coaching is challenging. It is asking the questions that need to be asked. The hard questions. A coach is not your friend, he or she is your coach! It shouldn't be comfortable. You have to be pushed out of your comfort zone into your learning zone. Where you feel you could fail. But that's why a coach is with you. To let you fail, but not fall. ​A coach SHOULD push your buttons, but should also ​be able to feel when you reach your limits (which doesn't say you have to stay within the limits of course).