How to change your (negative) state
We’ve all been there. Negative thoughts creep up in your mind and you find yourself heading towards a negative spiral of thoughts, worries, and anxiety. And although we all hate it, it still happens to us. It’s almost as if we can’t help it.
You just have the thoughts and then the shit hits the fan. It goes from just one thought, often triggered by something we see or hear, and BAM! Your whole body is in stress mode.
But there is a way to prevent this. Fix this. And never feel like this anymore.
To understand, and follow the steps I layout below, we first have to understand this: Our thoughts create our feelings, and our feelings feed our thoughts.
Both good AND bad.
Do that often enough (like the whole day when it keeps you occupied) and it is no longer just a thought, it has come to a belief. A belief it is real and true.
That’s where it becomes bad because then our habitual thoughts take over. And we’re out of control. Now it just happens. The moment you see that tax bill coming in your mailbox, your body shoots in stress mode. Feeding you with anxiety and thoughts.
This is what’s been called the “devil’s cycle of thought” and is affecting millions of people every day.
So, how do we break this cycle?
Follow these 3 steps and you’re going to not only break the cycle but also use it for your own benefit.
Step 1: Be aware of the thought happening.
The next time you feel this feeling again and have these thoughts again, try to notice that you’re thinking these thoughts. Observe them and say to yourself: Hmm interesting, I’m having these thoughts right now and this is how it makes me feel.
Step 2: Understand how that feeling feels and decide if you like it, and want to keep it, or not.
Then, make the conscious thought, I don’t like this feeling, and I know thinking this way isn’t changing the current situation. Because it doesn’t. You think the negative thoughts, isn’t going to change the essence of the situation.
It does affect your actions, which we go to next.
Because we don’t want to act from fear or anxiety, because that keeps you in the loop, makes you even dependant on the emotion and is often not resulting in the best action to take.
So, Step 3 is: accept the current situation as it is, and ignore the thoughts you had and the feelings that came along with it.
Now, this is the hardest part. Because you’re trying to go against your habitual thought pattern, controlled by your subconscious mind. But it is possible, as part of the 3 steps to take. Observer the thought, understand the feeling and thought, and detach these thoughts from the situation, as that just ‘is’ and is not going to change anything, no matter how you think.
What is going to change is you, depending on what you think. If you keep being enslaved by the default thoughts you have, pushed in your mind by the habit, you can’t do anything other than just reacting to the fear.
But when you detach yourself from these thoughts, and the situation, you can make a different decision. How am I going to ‘solve’ this situation? Clear, without emotion, rational, deciding how you are going to ACT towards this situation.
You’ll make better decisions and feel a lot less stressed.
Do this every time, and over time these habitual thoughts you had will be transferred into neutral thoughts.
And so you can handle any situation.
About the Author
Maurice is the founder of Master Your Personality and originator of the concept of "The 5 Sources of Happiness". He is a certified health and life success coach and he helps people to have a healthier life, more confidence and create the mindset that leads to owning your desired life and get what you want in life.