Do or Do Not. There is No Try
Words are powerful.
They create emotions, meaning, and behavior.
When someone calls you a loser, you feel differently than someone calling you awesome. They’re just words, right? Letters combined. But it’s the meaning that makes you feel a certain way or sets up your behavior.
So we can use this knowledge to influence. Others, sure, but also ourselves.
We all know the power of self-talk. “I can’t do this” and you can’t. “I’m not good enough” and you always wonder why people even bother listening to you.
Today I want to elaborate on the word “Try”. Because I hear people using it all the time. “Sure, I’ll try to call you back this week”. “Let me try to help you.” “I don’t know if I can do this, but let me try.”
Normal, regular talk right?
So what happens if you didn’t call back this week? Or were able to help? Or didn’t succeed in what you said you would try. “Well, I tried, but it didn’t work. So, don’t blame me for not succeeding. At least I tried.”
So, what trying actually does, is creating an excuse to not succeed. Because you ‘at least tried.’ But I don’t want you to try, I want you to commit to doing it. And yes, you might not succeed. But trying, is not what we’re after. It’s the doing. The goal. You want to talk to me or not, so are you going to call or not? Trying to call is essentially saying, I’m not calling you because I don’t know yet if I will give it a priority.
Can you help me or can’t you help me? Trying to help me is not the same as helping me.
If you don’t know if you can do it, you first have to DO. Not try.
Like Master Yoda said: there is do, or do not. there is no try. Because in order to ‘try’ something, you need to DO first. “Let me try if I like this juice” You first have to drink the juice to try it out and see if you like it. That is trying from being curious to the outcome.
You can try to play tennis, to find out if you like it or not. In order to know, you first have to do.
So make it a habit to stop using the word Try when you actually aren’t sure if you’re going to do it. Say in that case, “I haven’t decided yet to make it a priority to call you back this week. I’ll let you know.”
But that’s harsh! Yes, but it’s the truth isn’t it? \
“Let us find out if I can help you, what is it I can do for you?” is a far better question or statement than saying, let me try to help you.
or: “I don’t know if I can do this, let’s find out” and do it. and find out.
Try how this works for you, by doing it first.
About the Author
Maurice is the founder of Master Your Personality and originator of the concept of "The 5 Sources of Happiness". He coaches and trains people on how to take control in their happiness, find the love of your life and stage performance like public speaking and acting.