be an attractive man even if you’re shy
I’ve always been the shy kid. I’m an introvert from nature and especially when being a kid, it comes across as ‘shy’.
But in today’s world, it seems that you NEED to be extravert, out there, show yourself, otherwise, you won’t get the results you (secretly) also want.
Especially in dating.
Well, I’m still more of an introvert than extravert, people just don’t call me shy anymore.
Why is that?
Can you be an Introvert and still go out to the world? Get away of your shyness?
Yes, you can!
Being shy is most of the times not the same as being an introvert. Being shy is not showing yourself to others, because you judge yourself as ‘not being worth to show off’.
And that’s a misconception. It’s okay to be introvert. It can help you in many fields. Being shy though, isn’t helping you because the core that created that, is false.
When you like someone and you’re too afraid to talk to her, that is shyness. Your fear keeps you from taking the action.
So, shy and fear are connected. But is the fear right to make you scared?
Well in this scenario not at all. Will you die when you talk to a stranger? No. Will you physically be hurt? No. Will you mentally be hurt? Only if you allow it to.
What do I mean with that. Let me elaborate.
We tell ourselves stories. All day long. We judge a situation and predict the outcome. The problem though is, we’re horrible in our judgements. SO many scenarios can unfold, that we can’t possible think through all of them. So, our brain filters for us, based on what is most dangerous. And rejection is painful, so the brain tells you not to go talk to her.
Rejection is again a judgement on ourselves. She doesn’t like me, therefor I’m not enough. She said ‘No’, therefor I’m not worthy of being loved. She ignored me, therefor I am not handsome enough.
All of them are false. Fact.
She’s not rejecting you, she’s either rejecting the timing or your behaviour.
Timing you can’t judge, so you can’t change that. And you are NOT your behaviour. You HAVE behaviour. Based on your thoughts. So that you CAN change.
Change the thoughts = different behaviour = different results.
Are the results improving? You’re on track. Are they getting worse? Then go back to the drawing board and adjust the thinking → behaviour. Until you get the results you like.
And this change process is awesome. I remember that when I did this myself, my life changed 180 degrees. From a shy, insecure guy I became an attractive man for so many women. All women? No, thank god not. I don’t like all women, so gladly not all women like me.
It is what I decided to help other men with. Because this is so powerful and life changing, after what I’ve experienced myself, I wish all man can have that same experience.
Especially the shy ones.
About the Author
Maurice is the founder of Master Your Personality and originator of the concept of "The 5 Sources of Happiness". He coaches and trains people on how to take control in their happiness, find the love of your life and stage performance like public speaking and acting.