3 quick tips to become more confident
You want 3 tips to become more confident? Cool. I got you.
I used to be the shy kid. Not the typical loud, wild, doing crazy stuff kid. I was the good kid. I did what I was ordered to do and never got into trouble. I mean, NEVER. I never had detention, always complied to the teacher and I was scared as hell to do wrong or ‘be bad’. Okay, when I hit puberty, things slightly changed, but overall, I was always making sure there was no conflict.
I followed the rules and became a nice guy. Nothing wrong with a nice person of course, but that’s not what I mean with a nice guy. I was insecure, never made the first move, and was terrified of rejection.
Looking back, I was in full scarcity mindset. I didn’t feel good enough, was afraid all the time, and as a result, my first girlfriend I got (she seduced me of course), and totally overshadowed me in this 9 months relationship. She broke up (she cheated with some French dude) with me, and I was heartbroken. Years passed but nothing changed. All my relationships were like this, because I just kept doing what I was doing.
I don’t blame myself, I just didn’t know better.
Until I discovered these 3 things that made everything different. It wasn’t the women’s fault either, they just had to keep the balance to what I was bringing to the table. Let’s call that the masculine/feminin energy balance. And clearly I wasn’t in my own energy as a man.
But how to change that? That was the million dollar question.
So here’s what I did that made all the difference, after discovering that I could actually learn things to improve myself.
- I changed my posture. People react on your presence. How you act is how they have to react. So if you change the way you act, people will change the way they react. It’s what’s called ‘the law of resonance’. Changing the way I walked, head up, look far ahead, shoulders and back straight, made a huge difference in how people started reacting to me.
- I changed my language. After learning more about NLP (google it), I understood the power of words. In stead of asking for permission (what would you like to do?) I stated what I wanted and created options for the others (I want to go outside for a walk, do you want to join or rather stay home?)
- I set goals. Setting goals creates intention. It helped me create plans I then could execute on. Setting goals also emphasizes desire, the urge to succeed and created focus. Where focus go, energy flows. And when you start seeing you succeed at goals, my self talk started to change from ‘I fail at everything’ to ‘I can achieve things!’. Very powerful.
And the last thing I learned and executed on was the self talk. I bought lipstick, and wrote on my bathroom mirror ‘I am enough’. Programming the unconscious mind to understand that being me, is pretty awesome.
Which of these 3 (4 actually) makes the most sense to you? Share it in the comments!
About the Author
Maurice is the founder of Master Your Personality and originator of the concept of "The 5 Sources of Happiness". He coaches and trains people on how to take control in their happiness, find the love of your life and stage performance like public speaking and acting.